Inner strength helps us experience difficult times with more balance and calm. When we have inner strength, we know that we can make it through any challenge and have the perspective to know that when we come out the other side of the challenge, we will have grown in a way that is not possible without going through the life experience of overcoming obstacles.
We have so many obstacles in front of us now in the world. It is time to cultivate our inner strength.
When the clock struck midnight on December 31, 2020 so many of us breathed a sigh of relief and were filled with hope for the the new year to be less bumpy and difficult. Within a week, extreme events in the US political arena shocked us back to reality: things are still chaotic and there is much work to be done, both on the collective and individual levels. As upsetting and trying, and in some cases just heartbreaking, as the circumstances of all the various challenges we face are, I invite you to join me in taking the perspective that it is through the dissolution of the old that a new way has room to emerge. When a seed germinates and sprouts its first pair of leaves, the seed itself breaks apart to allow for the new growth. I view our growth, that at both the individual and the collective level, in much the same way as the seed growth - the new way forward has to burst through the old ways in order to come into existence. I have seen this in my own personal growth: its never pretty or easy, but I'm always in a better place for it. To ease our way through such growing pains we can cultivate our inner strength. With a well of inner strength to draw on, we are better able to face challenges with a sense of balance and calm.
Here are 8 of my favorite ways to cultivate inner strength.
INNER STRENGTH IDEA 1: Get clear on your purpose
Knowing your why will help you get through tough times. Being clear in what your purpose is gives you focus and perspective on how you fit in to the bigger picture. When you are living your purpose, doing the work of it flows and feels good to you; it feels like you were born to do it, because you were.
What is your purpose? What is your reason for being here on Earth at this time? What are you here to do?
Identifying your purpose may seem daunting but I want to tell you that your soul knows, and you need only listen. Now, what you find there may frighten you to consider acting upon, for it may be rather different than the life you have built for yourself and the ideas you have about who you are. 2021 is the time to live in your truth, whatever that may be, and to live in the truth of your purpose. In fact, it is my belief that the chaos around us is a catalyst for supporting people to embrace living in their purpose. Is there something that has been calling you? As Tracy Chapman says in her famous song, “If not now, when?”
If you have clarity on your purpose, look to see if you are taking actions to live in your purpose. If you are unclear on your purpose, make it a priority to identify it. There are many resources and methods to do so - numerology, astrology, coaches, workshops, books and more. Find what works for you and remember that your soul already knows: sitting in meditation and inquiring, asking for a message in your dreams or from a spirit guide and looking at what lights you up as an adult and when you were a child are all powerful methods of inquiry.
Self Check: What is my purpose? Am I living my purpose? What actions will I take to identify my purpose? If I know my purpose, do the choices I make align with my purpose?
INNER STRENGTH IDEA 2: Acknowledge your past triumphs over adversity
Go on. Admit it. You are a phenomenal badass. You’ve been through some serious challenges in your life; some you came through shining like the gold you are while others you got roughed up in. That's ok, that is just how it goes. Either way: you made it. I’m here to tell you that that is amazing.
It can be helpful to remind ourselves of the adversity we have already made it through in our lives. Take a few minutes to think about your biggest life challenges you’ve had in the past. Congratulate yourself on having come out the other side. When you were in the middle of the difficulties you probably wondered if the pain would ever end and how you would make it through. And look at you now. You did make it through. That is because you have inner strength already in you. Something inside of you nourished, led, pushed, shoved, jiggled or beckoned you forward through your dark hours. You have already faced challenges and you will do so again.
Self Check: Am I aware of my own Inner Strength? Where in my body does it reside? (Hint: as you ask yourself these questions, pay attention to the sensations in your body.) What are two difficult challenges I have faced in my life? If I were to dress up as my Inner Badass for Halloween, what would my costume look like?
INNER STRENGTH IDEA 3: Celebrating your wins, both big & small
When we celebrate our wins in life, we are taking time to honor ourselves and our journey. I see such celebrations as a practice of gratitude and self-love. Placing our focus on recognizing our wins and congratulating ourselves is like dialing a hotline to The Universe that says: I want more wins, please.
Recognizing our part in creating our wins honors ourselves, and all that it took to get to the win. Sometimes we get so caught up in the busyness of life, or so focused on earning the admiration of others, that we do not take the time to focus on celebrating ourselves. That little minute where you say to yourself, “Good job, you amazing creature!” or “I did it!” is important. I personally like to do this last one with a little dance or a jump.
For my really big wins (for me recently, big wins have included breaking a bad habit and completing a big project), or wins that are significant to me (last week, it was keeping up with the dishes every day) I might keep the celebration to myself or throw a party with my dearest friends. Recently, I gathered a few close friends together on Zoom, opened a mini champagne, and we did a toast to a really impactful win I’ve had with my personal growth. It felt great to celebrate! Marking any win occasion in whatever way you choose allows for a pause to reflect on the inner strength it took for you to get where you are.
Self Check: When is the last time you celebrated a win in your life? What does a win look like for you today? What is your self-talk when you have a win? What things in your life do you consider to be wins? What sort of win celebration would you enjoy?
INNER STRENGTH IDEA 4: Resting & Refueling
Listen up, all you Overachievers and Perfectionists, Nurturers and Healers: Self-care is essential. If you do not prioritize taking excellent care of your body, mind and spirit, especially in chaotic times such as we are living in now, you will deplete yourself. (Full disclosure: I am a nurturing healer and a recovering overachieving perfectionist, so I say these words to both of us).
We are best able to tap into our inner strength when we take beautiful care of ourselves. Resting instead of constantly pushing through is what is called for these days. Refueling ourselves physically, mentally and spiritually helps us maintain the balance and inner calm which paves the way for direct access to our inner strength.
Slash your to-do list in half and put yourself first.
No guilt. No excuses. Letting go of whatever is not truly important has been a key lesson for us in 2020. This frees us to focus on what is important, and that includes self-care and the inner strength which it supports.
Self Check: Do I give at least as much to myself as what I give to others? What are 3 small actions I can do this week to rest and refuel my body, mind & spirit? What is one big action I can take this week rest and refuel my body, mind & spirit?
INNER STRENGTH IDEA 5: Self-compassion
Love on yourself. Accept yourself as you are. Celebrate how truly amazing you are. Remove from your life anything that does not honor you. Be compassionate, kind and gentle with yourself. Especially now, with so many losses and changes in our lives, it is even more important that we show compassion towards ourselves. Doing so will help you build and increase your inner strength because you will be shifting your expectations of yourself, showing more love to yourself, honoring yourself and being in more direct connection with your authentic self.
Self Check: On a scale of 1-10, how much compassion do I show to myself? If I am not at a 10/10, what can I do to shift the amount of compassion I show to myself?
INNER STRENGTH IDEA 6: Commit to moving forward through fear
Growth comes when we learn and do new things, or shift into new ways of being. The change that precipitates our growth often comes with feelings of fear. If we want to grow and change, we will need to accept that we are going to feel the fear as we move forward. But fear needn’t stop us.
I don’t know about you, but most new things I’ve done in my life come with a certain amount of fear. Leaving a significant long-term romantic relationship that lost its ability to grow and bloom? Fear. Listening to my instincts that a career path in the healing arts would be more fulfilling than the conventional corporate path I’d been on for so long? Fear. Releasing my ex-New Yorker all-black-wardrobe ways to embrace color when the time was right? Fear (seriously, though).
One way or another, if something in you is out of alignment with your true nature, The Universe is going to find a way to help you get back into resonance with yourself. I’ve observed that this often comes in the form of change. I’ve also observed, and perhaps you have as well, that when we resist the changes being offered up to us by The Universe, they seem to increase in force and power in order to get our attention. This is not always pleasant. Given this truth, I say move forward through fear. Be afraid, that’s OK, but do it anyway. (Hint: the things you are most afraid of often contain the biggest treasures for you.) You will see in hindsight that your fear was an illusion, perhaps a bit of your ego trying to keep you small.
When we are able to allow ourselves to grow, despite our fears, we blossom into a deeper version of ourselves. It is truly beautiful. And we affirm our inner strength.
Self Check: Where in my life have I moved forward through my fears? Have I celebrated those experiences and recognized the inner strength it took to grow in those situations? Where in my life am I most afraid? What opportunities exist for me right now to commit to moving forward through fear?
INNER STRENGTH IDEA 7: Have a plan to address stress
Stress wreaks havoc on us emotionally, mentally, physically and spiritually. Where you can in your life, reduce stress. Stress will happen, it is a part of being human. Having a plan in place to proactively deal with stress will help you be healthier and happier. And it will help protect and feed your well of inner strength.
There are many things that can be done to manage stress. Find what works best for you and make a plan to consistently do what it takes to keep yourself as stress-free as you can, and ready to go into triage mode for yourself if you become overwhelmed with stress.
Here are some considerations for your stress-management plan. Look into the nutritional aspect of stress management. Much can be done to support a healthy system through food. One example for me is when I am in periods of great stress, I find it helpful to reduce or eliminate coffee, as too much caffeine exacerbates anxiety. Supplements are another consideration. Stress can affect the major systems in the body, and it may impact different people in different ways. I find for myself that taking adrenal-supporting supplements is especially helpful.
Activities are another area that can support stress reduction. What do you enjoy that relaxes you? Exercise, meditation, walking in nature, breath-work, yoga, laughing and sex with a loving partner are all great stress reducers!
Our perspective and our expectations are two additional areas where there is opportunity for stress-reduction. A simple daily gratitude practice is a quick way to shift perspective. Examining our expectations and understanding the true drivers of them may help us to release expectations, which in turn will eliminate loads of stress, though admittedly this is much easier to say than to do. (Hint: the Dalai Lama teaches that one of the key ways to stop suffering due to expectations is to let your mind rest.)
Lastly, positive and supportive connection with others is wonderful for stress-reduction. Sometimes that is with family, friends, or pets and sometimes that is with professional support from members of the medical, metaphysical or coaching communities. If you find yourself chronically stressed and unable to effectively manage it, reach out for help to a counselor, therapist, healer or naturopathic medical professional.
Self Check: What is my current stress level at? What strategies will I use to maintain a reduced stress level in my daily life? What is my emergency plan if I become overloaded with stress?
INNER STRENGTH IDEA 8: Connecting to something bigger than yourself
I think that perhaps the most effective way to cultivate inner strength is by being connected to something bigger than yourself. Having an understanding that all beings are connected, or an insight into the bigger purpose of existence, or a faith that everything is going to be OK will provide you an infinite source of inner strength.
Coming to such a place is an individual journey. Some call it an awakening or spirituality, but the name does not matter. If you and I are connected, then very likely you are already well on your way to seeing the truths I describe here. Surrender into your knowing, and keep listening to yourself and learning. Consistently connect to this thing that is bigger than you in whatever way fits best with your beliefs, perhaps through meditation, prayer, a home altar, reading, services, nature, intuitive dialogue, dreams, music, art, creativity, synchronicity or chatting with your guides/angels/spirit animals. Cultivating a regular connection in this way will keep your reservoir of inner strength full.
Self Check: What do I believe in that is bigger than me? How do I invite my beliefs into my life each day? What activities or rituals can I cultivate daily that honor my beliefs and give them more presence in my life?
In Closing
I hope these reflections have given you some new ideas on how you might tap into and increase your inner strength, adding to or shifting as needed what you may already be doing. In this time of drastic change in the world, having a well of inner strength to draw on eases our experiences of these challenges. Sending you much love.
Thank you for visiting my new blog. Cultivating Inner Strength is the topic for my January 2021 monthly newsletter, Cultivated Hippy Happenings. I started writing on this and found I had so much more to share than would fit in the confines of the newsletter, so I let it all flow on my new blog. Hope you found it supportive and worthwhile.
Your comments are welcome below. What has been working for you to cultivate your inner strength?